Mutual Agreement
by AriMarvelUniverse
Summary: Raph does many things, but the one thing he does not do is cook. ...Right? Contains my OC Kiyono Oruku. Few bad words, nothing serious.


"Hey, what do you guys want on your pizza tonight?" came filtering out of the kitchen, along with the spicy and tangy aroma of sizzling pepperoni and baking tomato sauce. The owner of the voice was currently hidden by the thick clouds of steam billowing out of the threshold, but the orange tails of his bandana could be seen through the haze, flicking and swinging erratically. Michelangelo was whipping himself into a cooking frenzy, because it was his job to provide food and drinks for movie night, and depending on what mad ideas he wanted to try out, that might have spelled either good fortune or doom for the rest of the Hamato household.

Occasionally, shouts of 'I'm a freaking genius!' and 'Bada BING!' could be heard. His brothers and their resident runaway Oruku glanced warily up from the living room coffee table, where countless DVD cases were spread out, awaiting the Go-no go.

"Mmm...should we be concerned?" Kiyono asked the general area, trying and failing to pierce the smoky screen with her sharp black eyes. "He sounds like he's having some real fun in there...with our food." Donatello gave a grimace behind his violet mask and set down the movie he was holding, looking more than a little anxious. "I don't know," he admitted. "Mikey's not that bad of a cook, as we know...better than the rest of us. He's just a little- er- adventurous at times."

"I don't know why we keep letting that little screw ball handle our grub, anyways." Raph commented, throwing Star Wars, Independence Day, and X-Men First Class into the 'reject' pile, earning himself a surly glare from Leonardo. "I swear he's gonna poison us all one 'a these days...and I'm not WATCHING that junk, Leo." He rumbled, spying a forest green hand attempting to rescue his beloved sci fi films from the pile and intercepting him. Leonardo ignored him and plucked the movies back, stern determination flickering in his brown irises. "We haven't voted yet, Raph...you have no say at this moment. The rest of us still have to give our-"  
"I'm not trying ta see weird little men in shiny suits jump around, shooting ray guns at fake aliens, and flinging sparkles at each other!" Raph countered stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest so that his dark green muscles bulged.

Kiyono gave an eye roll and a delicate snort, scrunching up her small nose in derision. "Yes, because pointless explosions every ten seconds, cursing every ten words, and people bleeding strawberry syrup after false punches is SOOOO much better than space exploration and future technology. Right. It all makes so much sense now." She drawled, nodding at the Fast Five movie in his hand. Raph bristled and shot her a heated glare, then turned his head back to Leo. "You always let yer girl say yer comebacks, Fearless?" He asked loudly, causing a pink flush to crawl up Kiyono's pale ears. She opened her mouth to respond, but at a stern glance from the blue masked turtle, she simply huffed and glowered at the DVD in her grasp as though she'd like to rip it to pieces. Leo chose to ignore the jab with a pitying shake of his head.

"Come on, people. Let's just pick a movie, alright?" Donatello pleaded, waving his three fingered, olive toned hand over the crowded table. "We're down to Shaun of the Dead, Battleship, Avengers, Enter The Dragon, and I-Robot. What's it going to be?" Kiyono shivered and her hand twitched, as if she wanted to send the zombie movie flying off the glass. "Not Shaun of The Dead. No zombies." Raph shrugged and smiled nastily at the back of her long ponytail. "Why not? Those zombies were a joke...fake as hell. I think we should watch it- might be a laugh." To which her shuddering increased, and her throat convulsed dangerously. A tinge of green appeared under her eyes. "No. Zombies." she rasped.

"Guys, please can we just-" "PIZZA'S DONE, DUDES! Prepare to be amazed!" The negotiations stopped as a sea green and orange blur sped out of the kitchen. Mikey skipped into the living room, balancing a gigantic, steaming pizza on one hand and carrying a blender full of chunky yellow liquid in the other. "Oh yeah, and I also whipped up a new shake recipe for you guys!" He dropped the pizza on top of the movies, splattering cheese everywhere, and sat the blender in a tiny clear space on the floor that wasn't taken up by blankets and pillows. Raph raised his arm to avoid a splash of hot cheese, growling all the while, as Donatello inspected the offering. "Mikey...this pizza looks-"  
"Awesome? Delicious? We know I'm a great cook, Donnie-boy...you don't have to rub it in to those who SOOO are not." Mikey interrupted, lake blue eyes glimmering with pride and amusement. Donatello peered more closely at the pizza and cleared his throat. "I was going to say...different. Before we all start eating...I would like to ask why the sauce is so dark and...sticky, and what..." Words seemed to fail him for the moment, so Raph cut in where he'd left off. "And what the hell is all of that green crap on top of it?"

Mikey's smile widened, showing off his gleaming white teeth. "I'm glad you asked, dudes! I added chocolate to the tomatoes, and that green stuff is guacamole. I was going for a Mexican theme there. And this-" he tapped the blender happily, "is a banana laffy taffy and buttered popcorn milkshake. I hope you like it!" His face was red with excitement and effort, and he looked like a joyous little kid waiting for a hug from his mother. There was silence for a few seconds, and then Kiyono was brave enough to speak up. "Oh, um...Mikey, that- "  
"You're actually thinking of eating that?" Raph interrupted, staring incredulously at the food as if it were going to jump up and start tap dancing. Noticing that Mikey's smile slipped ever so slightly, Kiyono swallowed and glanced around for any kind of support. She found none.

"We're all hungry..." She mumbled. Her eyes bugged out and flickered to Mikey and back, urging the red masked ninja to catch on and hush. A crushed Mikey ego could easily end in tears- she'd learned that quickly enough only after a few months. Mikey was...sensitive.  
"So lemme get this straight-you WANNA eat Choco-guac pizza and...whatever that is?" Raph asked her, pointing at the blender. Kiyono blushed and avoided Mikey's eyes, chomping down onto her lip nervously. Honestly...no, she didn't. Not at all. But she didn't want to hurt Mikey's feelings. "Y-yes...?" It came out like a question.  
Leo was the first one to stop pretending he had gone temporarily mute. "Raph...stop being so hard on him. I'm sure if you just tried it, you might like it. Mikey's not a bad cook." Donatello jumped in a second later. "It might...be interesting...to try something new."

"Like bending over the damn toilet in a few hours? I'm good. No offense Mike, but that just don't sit right with me. I'm good." Raph said bluntly, still staring at the pizza. "Ive eaten alot of your experiments before, but I just can't eat chocolate pizza." Mikey blinked and sagged, momentarily deflated. "Um, sure...kay, that's...that's cool, Raph. There's some...leftover pizza hut in the...Yeah.I guess you can-"  
Fearing that his eyes looked a little damp, Kiyono fixed Raph with a look that approached a glare. "Raph...I really think you should try it."  
"Joanie," he said in the same tone, "I ain't doing it. You wanna die, go right ahead."  
Leo ventured forth again, frowning disapprovingly. "Raph, that's a little unfair. Mikey's a good cook. He makes lots of things successfully that we can't." Raph waved the comment away. "Just cause you can't step foot in a kitchen without the freaking toaster exploding doesn't mean the rest of the world cooks like Emeril. Ninjas shouldn't cook, no ways. Pansy stuff, if ya ask me. Little soft. Ya can't stop a wave of Foot Losers with a shake." Satisfied with his reasoning, he turned away without another word and started rifling through the movies again. Silence reigned for a minute, and then someone cleared their throat.  
"Let's just...pick the movie..."

"Can we watch Shaun of the Dead?" Mikey asked, still looking and sounding a little crestfallen. Kiyono shuddered audibly, wringing her hands, but one look at Mikey's face convinced her to bite her tounge and force a nod.  
Donatello slid the movie into the drive, and she plugged her ears immediately, leaning farther into Leo's side. Everybody eventually forced down a slice or two of Mikey's pizza, except for Raph. He got up in the middle of the movie and went to the kitchen, where they could all hear him heating up the pizza hut.

A few hours later, at around four twenty in the morning, Leo's door cracked open slowly, and Kiyono stumbled out of his room. She held her mouth tightly, and her face was screwed up in pain. She ghosted down the short flight of stairs and into the bathroom as quickly and quietly as she could, then proceeded to drop to her knees on the cold tile and vomit. It wasn't Mikey's pizza that had done this...It was her own body. She could never keep food down for more than a few days, after the ravenous demon energies had drained it of all its nutrients. It was a vicious cycle...They'd force her to gorge, then toss it back up after they were done with it, leaving her more malnourished and thin than before. Leo and Donnie didn't know she was still having problems, and she wanted to keep it that way.

After being violently sick, she rolled to her feet, holding her sore stomach and wiping her face. She rinsed her mouth out and exited the bathroom, hoping that no one had heard her.  
She had thought that no one else was up, not even Leo, so she was surpised to find that the light was on in the kitchen, and that small sounds were coming from inside. She hadn't noticed before, doubled over in abdomen pain. Other than Mikey and herself, no one really used the kitchen to do anything more than heat a frozen pizza in the oven or use the microwave. Intrigued, she crept closer, peered through the half open door...and nearly choked. She was staring at Raphael's shell, and he was bent over the stove, frowning in concentration. The burners hummed quietly, and he was prodding something in a pan. Amazed, she watched him expertly crack three eggs into it and poke it with a spatula. The red masked ninja smiled to himself and scanned the small slip of paper in his hand, then tossed what looked like a PINCH of salt into the mix.

Kiyono couldn't take it anymore. She did choke on her laughter, even though it hurt her stomach to laugh. She couldn't believe it.  
Raph spun around, mouth hanging open and burning amber eyes flicking to and fro. He dropped his spatula in his surprise, and he tried to hide the pan with his back. "Who...?" Giggling silently, Kiyono banished the shadows that she'd called to cover her and mute her steps. "Hello there, Raph. Little early, isn't it?"

"What the hell are you doing up, Kiyono?" he growled, debating whether he should chase her out. She sat heavily in a chair on the island and dropped her head onto the table, the laughter fading from her eyes and leaving them dim and pained. He noticed how sweaty she was, and how deep the shadows around her eyes looked, and also how she was trembling slightly. "Throwing up." she said weakly. His gaze softened slightly, and he grunted. "Oh. Was it the pizza?"  
"No." she didn't say anything else, but he knew. "Oh. I thought Donnie gave you meds for that?" Kiyono hid her face for a few seconds, swallowing to cool the burning in her throat. "They don't work. I haven't taken them." "Oh."

More silence, filled with nothing but the popping and sizzling of what ever was in the pan. "Raph...were you COOKING something?" Raph bristled and crossed his arms over his chest defensively. "NO." Kiyono raised her head, eyebrows in her hair line. "Right...because it's...What did you say? Soft...Pansy..." Raph huffed and turned away from her, trying to look furious. "Yeah, yeah, okay, so I can throw something together. No big deal. Shut up." She grinned like a cat with a feather in its mouth, savoring his embarrassment. "Ooh, you can cook...Raphie, that's adorable! Can you do dinner tonight? Maybe some chicken, a nice salad..."  
"What does it matter ta you, you couldn't keep it down anyway." he shot back. She scowled. "You owe Mikey a huge apology. All the times you insulted his food and the fact that he likes to cook, and here you are, Emeril ninja." Raph rolled his eyes. "Mikey needs ta stop being so soft. He know I don't mean it. Besides, I cook what I eat, and that's it. I don't want no body making a big stupid deal about it."

"You just don't want people to know that you're a sensitive housewife."  
"Say that again, and I'll shove your skinny ass in the garbage disposal." he threatened. Kiyono blinked and leaned back in her chair. "Oh, sure, Raphael. You don't scare me as much, now that I know your little secret. Do you wear an apron, too?"  
Raph clenched his fists together. "I'm guessing Leo don't know you're still chucking, right?" he said suddenly, ignoring her jab. "Donnie too." She wilted. "I...No, they don't...Raph-"

"Tell ya what, Joanie. You keep your mouth shut, and I'm gonna do the same." he offered bluntly. She fell silent again, then nodded slowly. "Alright. But the next time Mikey cooks, you better eat it. And be NICE about it." He snorted, but agreed. "Go to bed, Crawford. And keep it zipped." Kiyono bowed mockingly, then stood up, eyes glittering. "Good night, Raph...I think your gourmet omelet is burning." She dipped out of the kitchen snickering to avoid the blur of metal aimed at her head, thinking it was a sai. It was the spatula. That in only made her laugh harder.


End file.
